Xenophilia (True Strange Stuff)

Blog of the real Xenophilius Lovegood, a slightly mad scientist

Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Women happier in relationships when men feel their pain

Posted by Anonymous on March 6, 2012

Men like to know when their wife or girlfriend is happy while women really want the man in their life to know when they are upset, according to a new study published by the American Psychological Association.

The study involved a diverse sample of couples and found that men’s and women’s perceptions of their significant other’s empathy, and their abilities to tell when the other is happy or upset, are linked to relationship satisfaction in distinctive ways, according to the article published online in the Journal of Family Psychology.

“It could be that for women, seeing that their male partner is upset reflects some degree of the man’s investment and emotional engagement in the relationship, even during difficult times. This is consistent with what is known about the dissatisfaction women often experience when their male partner becomes emotionally withdrawn and disengaged in response to conflict,” said the study’s lead author, Shiri Cohen, PhD, of Harvard Medical School. …

via Women happier in relationships when men feel their pain.

Most women are crazy.

Posted in Love, Mind | 1 Comment »

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Posted by Anonymous on February 14, 2012

Hope you are having a great one! Feeling loved today? In love today? Have you become love today? Try it.

20120213-235401.jpg

 

 

Posted in Love | Leave a Comment »

The girl who silenced the world for 5 minutes

Posted by Anonymous on February 4, 2012

Posted in Earth, Education, Health, human rights, Love, Mind, Survival, War | Leave a Comment »

Sexual satisfaction in women increases with age

Posted by Anonymous on January 3, 2012

A new study of sexually active older women has found that sexual satisfaction in women increases with age and those not engaging in sex are satisfied with their sex lives. A majority of study participants report frequent arousal and orgasm that continue into old age, despite low sexual desire. The study appears in the January issue of the American Journal of Medicine.

Researchers from the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine and the Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System evaluated sexual activity and satisfaction as reported by 806 older women who are part of the Rancho Bernardo Study (RBS) cohort, a group of women who live in a planned community near San Diego and whose health has been tracked for medical research for 40 years. The study measured the prevalence of current sexual activity; the characteristics associated with sexual activity including demographics, health, and hormone use; frequency of arousal, lubrication, orgasm, and pain during sexual intercourse; and sexual desire and satisfaction in older women.

The median age in the study was 67 years and 63% were postmenopausal. Half the respondents who reported having a partner had been sexually active in the last 4 weeks. The likelihood of sexual activity declined with increasing age. The majority of the sexually active women, 67.1%, achieved orgasm most of the time or always. The youngest and oldest women in the study reported the highest frequency of orgasm satisfaction.

40% of all women stated that they never or almost never felt sexual desire, and one third of the sexually active women reported low sexual desire. Lead investigator Elizabeth Barrett-Connor, MD, Distinguished Professor and Chief, Division of Epidemiology, Department of Family and Preventive Medicine, University of California, San Diego School of Medicine, comments, “Despite a correlation between sexual desire and other sexual function domains, only 1 in 5 sexually active women reported high sexual desire. Approximately half of the women aged 80 years or more reported arousal, lubrication, and orgasm most of the time, but rarely reported sexual desire. In contrast with traditional linear model in which desire precedes sex, these results suggest that women engage in sexual activity for multiple reasons, which may include affirmation or sustenance of a relationship.”

Regardless of partner status or sexual activity, 61% of all women in this cohort were satisfied with their overall sex life. Although older age has been described as a significant predictor of low sexual satisfaction, the percentage of RBS sexually satisfied women actually increased with age, with approximately half of the women over 80 years old reporting sexual satisfaction almost always or always. Not only were the oldest women in this study the most satisfied overall, those who were recently sexually active experienced orgasm satisfaction rates similar to the youngest participants. “In this study, sexual activity was not always necessary for sexual satisfaction. Those who were not sexually active may have achieved sexual satisfaction through touching, caressing, or other intimacies developed over the course of a long relationship,” says first author Susan Trompeter, MD, Associate Clinical Professor of Medicine. Division of General Internal Medicine, Department of Medicine at the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine and Staff Physician at the VA San Diego Healthcare System.

“Emotional and physical closeness to the partner may be more important than experiencing orgasm. A more positive approach to female sexual health focusing on sexual satisfaction may be more beneficial to women than a focus limited to female sexual activity or dysfunction,” Trompeter concludes.

via Sexual satisfaction in women increases with age.

Posted in Health, Love | 1 Comment »

Strangers Spot People With Compassionate Genes in Seconds: Oxytocin Receptor & Empathy

Posted by Anonymous on November 16, 2011

… Strangers can “see” a persons trustworthy genes through their behaviors, suggests a new study finding that a single genetic change makes a person seem more compassionate and kind to others.

The gene in question is the “love hormone,” or oxytocin, receptor. A single change in the receptor can result in higher or lower empathy, or how much you can emotionally relate to others. These changes can be detected by strangers from just 20 seconds of soundless video; these strangers could literally see the person’s genes manifesting in their behavior.

Our genes are made of bases, called nucleotides, which come in four types: A, T, C, and G. Researchers have found that switching out a single A to a G on the “love hormone” receptor can have profound effects on behavior. A person with two copies of this A-to-G mutation (one from each parent) report having more empathy.

“Previous research has found that people that are GGs are more empathic, more compassionate,” study researcher Aleksandr Kogan at the University of Toronto told LiveScience. These studies were self-reported by the GGs, so Kogan’s study asked: “Do other people actually find people with a GG more trustworthy?”

… “The people on the video that had the copies of the G genes were treated as more compassionate, trustworthy and kind. There were specific behaviors that the G genes were doing that the A genes were doing less,” Kogan said. “These behaviors were signaling to the complete strangers that this is a trustworthy person. This is speaking to the power of very slight genetic variation and the amazing human ability to pick up on the differences.”The 23 video clips contained 10 GGs, 10 GAs and 3 AA variants. On average, only about 15 percent of Caucasians have two A oxytocin receptor gene variants. Of the 10 most trusted people, as indicated by the 119 study participants, six were GGs and four were GAs, none were AAs. Of the 10 least trusted, nine had at least one A variant and only one was GG ….

via Strangers Spot People With Compassionate Genes in Seconds | Genetic Mutation, Oxytocin Receptor & Empathy | LiveScience.

Posted in Love, Mind | Leave a Comment »

What are you doing to celebrate the end of the world today? (The Mayan Calendar ends today Oct. 28, 2011, or not)

Posted by Anonymous on October 28, 2011

Someone named Calleman fudged the Mayan calendar and came up with today as the date. The idea spread and many people who are more interested in spiritual growth than archaeology now believe it.

“… Calleman’s own made up period which he calls uaxlahunkin (13 x 18 days). This period does not exist in the real Maya calendar and it has been created by Calleman in order to replace two other periods in the Maya Long Count. Otherwise he would have ended up with ten levels and ten Underworlds (and that would not have worked with the prevalence of number nine in the Maya numerology).” - Johan Normark

Any excuse for a good end of the world party! Actually I’m home sick with a horrible sore throat… so my party will consist of mostly sleep. Here is a critique of the source from emergent-culture.com.

Mayan Calendar (2012-MC) studies is dominated by two major scholastic camps—mainstream university professor types (MUPTs) and independent researchers (INREs). This article is a critique and maybe considered an informal kind of peer review. …

Unlike the formal peer reviewed world of the MUPT’s, the INRE’s have no formal review process and therefore anything goes. Not that INRE’s can’t make significant contributions to Maya-Meso-American Calendrics (MMAC), but the lack of a formal peer review system has created a vast ideological quagmire for those following the 2012-MC phenomena. …

For starters there is no Mayan Calendar per se, but rather a Maya calendrical system and calendars map cyclical phenomena and therefore do not “end”. Calendars mark starting and restart points in a cycle. To say that a calendar ends is an oxymoron. The Maya kept track of at least 17 to 20 different calendrical cycles. Calleman is the only researcher to propose a different “end to the Mayan Calendar” and he has no backing for his October 28th, 2011 end date from either the MUPTs or other INRE’s. Not that that fact automatically disqualifies his assessment, but it should be noted. …

Johan Normark Exposes Calleman

The following critiques of Calleman’s work are presented by Johan Normark an archaeologist, traditional Maya scholar and postdoctoral researcher with the Department of Historical Studies at University of Gothenburg. I have included excerpts from his blog with links to the complete articles. My comments are interspersed in brackets.

Calleman: Get the simplest facts correct please

“Just a quick look through it (Callemans latest book) reveals  that it is littered with small mistakes (apart from his major distortions of the whole calendar which I shall focus on in other blog posts). One of them can be found on page 43. In the text below the photo of Temple I at Tikal you can read that it is the highest pyramid in the Americas. This is a statement from a person claiming to be an expert on the Maya.

Well, the simple fact is that Temple I is not even the highest pyramid at Tikal. Temple III, IV and V are all higher than this structure. Then we have other Maya sites with pyramids higher than Temple I, such as Calakmul and El Mirador. The Sun pyramid at Teotihuacan is also higher. These facts are basic knowledge to a Mayanist/Mesoamericanist. If he cannot even get these facts straight in topics that he himself is a self-proclaimed expert I wonder how accurate the rest is.[read more]

via Emergent Culture – The Mayan Calendar Does NOT end on Oct. 28, 2011: An Exposé of Carl Calleman, A Modern Day Charlatan.

Carl Johan Calleman… is a toxicologist as well as an author and speaker on the millenarianNew Age interpretation of the Mayan calendar known as Mayanism. He differs from professional Mayanists in seeing 28 October 2011 and not 21 December 2012 as a significant date. Calleman does not interpret the date as an apocalypse, Armageddon, or other cataclysmic event but a slow transformation of consciousness in which people experience a higher “unity consciousness.”[1]

… Calleman’s beliefs differ from other interpreters of the Mayan calendar and the 2012 phenomenon in that he sees the crucial date for change as 28 October 2011–not 21 December 2012–which he posulates will see the culmination of a series of nine waves of increasing frequency which have influenced, and continue to influence, the development and evolution of both the physical universe and human consciousness.

via Wikipedia

Here are the first things that came to mind for my end of the world party: Burn some money, make love on a beach to the love of my life, eat fresh crab with garlic bread and butter, do a head stand, forgive everyone, forget everything, post a final blog entry, meditate with such intensity that I attain unlimited telepathic powers, read the mind of Dick Cheney to see if I was right about 9/11, then sit and play the guitar.

What are you or would you do to celebrate the end of the world?

 

Posted in Archaeology, Earth, Love, Mind, Popular Culture, Survival | 5 Comments »

Long-Married Couple Gordon Yeager And Norma Yeager Die Holding Hands

Posted by Anonymous on October 20, 2011

A perfect match: After 72 years of marriage and four children, Iowa couple Gordon and Norma Yeager die an hour apart holding handsFor one Iowa couple, true love lasted until the very end.

Married 72 years, Norma, 90, and Gordon Yeager, 94, died in the hospital holding hands last week, one hour apart.

The couple was hospitalized after a car accident just outside of Marshalltown, Iowa. They were given a shared room in the ICU where they held hands in adjacent beds.

At 3:38 pm last Wednesday, Gordon’s breathing stopped. Though he was no longer alive, his heart monitor continued to register a beat.

The nurse told Gordon and Norma’s son, Dennis Yeager, that the monitor was beeping “because they’re holding hands, and [Norma's heart beat] is going through them,” Dennis recalled in an interview with Des Moines’ KCCI news station. “Her heart was beating through him.”

Norma died at 4:38 pm, exactly one hour later.

Gordon and Norma’s children say they’re glad the couple passed this way. “They just loved being together,” says Dennis. “He always said, ‘I can’t go until she does because I gotta stay here for her.’ And she would say the same thing.” …

via Long-Married Couple Gordon Yeager And Norma Yeager Die Holding Hands.

Posted in Love | 1 Comment »

My Groundhog Day: Taking a Vacation from Selfishness

Posted by Anonymous on August 11, 2011

I woke up today and realized my intentions for my vacation have been largely selfish. I have focused on pleasure seeking, putting myself in some beautiful place, making love on a beach, eating expensive seafood and sitting in a jacuzzi … the rewards such as I see them, for hard work.

I have worked non-stop for 2 years at my job and have earned the money to do these things, but after searching my heart, I have not lived up to my highest standards.

One of my favorite movies of all time is Groundhog Day, but I have not lived the lesson from it I love:

We find our full potential only when our deepest motivations become altruistic.

Just as Bill Murray wakes up on the same day over and over, trying to get it right, I’ve tried this change of heart many times. I typically, and selfishly, and cynically, however, return to the view that love is a trick, that people donate to charity to get the tax break, that people ultimately give for selfish reasons. Does it “count” if I give a hungry person money for food and my real motivation is to impress someone with my generosity?

I finally get this: Yes, it counts to the hungry person, but I do myself a disservice. I cheat myself of the experience that would be most fulfilling, a pure act of kindness.

Finding the invisible thread, the selfish conversation, and changing it is both easy and difficult. This morning, I solved the equation this way: We live and we die and everything is an illusion. It is our personal responsibility to make the best possible illusion.

Thus, I reached the conclusion that I will not spend my vacation money flying to some island paradise and indulging myself. I will help someone who needs it more than myself, someone who has not asked for my help. This is what I intend.

I do not know how to do what I intend, yet, so I will start simple today, with something I know I can do: Find a local homeless shelter and donate the food from my garden I will never eat.

Our intentions are real. Like our breath, they happen on auto-pilot, but we can also control them.

Posted in Love | 2 Comments »

David Duchovny And Tea Leoni Separate For Second Time In 3 Years

Posted by Anonymous on June 29, 2011

Author: Mack Rawden -

Tea Leoni and David Duchovny have separated for a second time. Their nearly fifteen year marriage famously suffered quite a setback in 2008 when the former X-Files star checked himself into sex rehab, but since he returned, there’s been surprisingly few tabloid headlines or embarrassing public spats. You never know what’s going on behind closed doors though.

According to TMZ, a source close to the couple broke the news but said the pair have not officially thrown in the towel. They’re going to take some time apart and then reevaluate to decide whether to divorce or give it another go. I really hope they give it another go.

There are three types of celebrity couples: the stable ones, the unstable ones and the trainwrecks. Obviously, as an outsider, it’s difficult to tell with one hundred percent certainty who falls where, but from watching people interact and knowing their back stories, you can usually get a rough idea. Duchovny and Leoni are definitely an unstable couple, but they’re still likeable enough together that I’m genuinely saddened by today’s news. …

via David Duchovny And Tea Leoni Separate For Second Time In 3 Years.

Good luck to them. Love is stubbly rubble road with potholes and the sudden toad.

Posted in Love, Popular Culture | 3 Comments »

Infidelity could be hereditary, says study

Posted by Anonymous on June 16, 2011

He was clearly born with a significant amount of sporting prowess but was Tiger Woods also born to be unfaithful to his wife?

The inclination towards infidelity could be in your genes, a study suggests.

Researchers examining female zebra finches believe they cheat on their mates due to variations in DNA handed down by male ancestors.

Genetic analysis revealed promiscuous males tend to sire promiscuous daughters – and this explanation for ‘playing away’ may also apply to humans, believe scientists.

The shamed golfer Tiger Woods is believed never to have forgiven his father Earl for cheating on his mother and last year anthropologists identified a gene mutation linked to the feel-good brain chemical dopamine that is liable to make people more likely to sleep around. …

via Infidelity could be hereditary, says study | Mail Online.

Posted in Love, Mind | 1 Comment »

 
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