Xenophilia (True Strange Stuff)

Blog of the real Xenophilius Lovegood, a slightly mad scientist

Hoax: Study: Stare at boobs for longer life + The fourth orientation

Posted by Anonymous on December 6, 2009

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/d/d6/Boobies.jpg/350px-Boobies.jpgA rather bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggests that staring at women’s breasts is good for men’s health and increases their life expectancy.

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years.She added, “Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out.”

A five-year research on 500 men
Researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany did an in-depth analysis of 200 healthy males over a period of five years. Half the volunteers were instructed to ogle at the breasts of women daily, while the rest were told to refrain from doing so.

At the close of the study, the researchers noted that the men who stared at the breasts of females on a regular basis exhibited lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and lesser episodes of coronary artery disease.

Sexual desire linked to better blood circulation
The researchers declared that sexual desire gives rise to better blood circulation that signifies an overall improved health.

Weatherby explained the concept stating, “Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There’s no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthy.

“Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years.”

In addition, she also recommended that men over 40 should gaze at larger breasts daily for 10 minutes.

The German research is believed to be published in the New England Journal of Medicine.

via Stare at boobs for longer life: Study | TheMedGuru.

This may explain why women live longer, since they spend more time looking at boobs (their own) over the course of their lives. ;-)

But… I’m confused about something… to increase their lifespans, at what would the Asexuals stare?

…. if it exists as a fourth orientation, true asexuality would be due neither to genetic anomaly or environmental assault; although little is known about its etiology (Bogaert believes it may be traced to prenatal alterations of the hypothalamus), by all appearances most asexual people are normal, healthy, hormonally balanced and sexually mature adults who, for still uncertain reasons, have always found sex to be one big, bland yawn.Asexuality would therefore be like other sexual orientations in the sense that it is not “acquired” or “situational,” but rather an essential part of one’s biological makeup. But the story of asexuality is very complicated. For example, as discussion on the AVEN (Asexuality and Visibility Education Network) website forums demonstrate, there is tremendous variation in the sexual inclinations of those who consider themselves to be asexual. Some masturbate, some don’t. Some are interested in nonsexual, romantic relationships (including cuddling and kissing but no genital contact), while others aren’t. Some consider themselves to be “hetero-asexual” (having a nonsexual aesthetic or romantic preference for those of the opposite sex), while others see themselves as “homo-” or “bi-asexuals.”

Yet many asexuals are also perfectly willing to have sex if it satisfies their sexual partners; it’s not awkward or painful for them but rather, like making toast or emptying the trash, they just don’t personally derive pleasure from the act. Others insist on being in completely sexless relationships, possibly with other asexuals. Thus, while many asexuals are virgins, others are ironically even more experienced than your traditionally sexual friends. – thestar

Okay, this study is a hoax. According to Snopes:

The article referred to above was not printed in The New England Journal of Medicine or any other major medical journal. It is, in fact, a slight reworking of a piece that has run on at least two occasions in that celebrated tabloid Fountain of Truth, the Weekly World News (13 May 1997 and 21 March 2000) and has escaped into the wild. Although the Weekly World News occasionally slips up and prints a true story, we suspect this one belongs in the “HOW TO TELL IF YOUR DOG WORSHIPS SATAN!” and “NEW REMOTE-CONTROL DEVICE GIVES WOMEN ORGASMS — AT UP TO 80 YARDS AWAY!” class. – snopes

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9 Responses to “Hoax: Study: Stare at boobs for longer life + The fourth orientation”

  1. Ann said

    There’s a huge gap that includes neurophysiological and endocrinological components between ” … Gazing at breasts …” and “lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and lesser episodes of coronary artery disease” that obviously are not being articulated, probably because “scientists” know very little about it. But, it was always nice for members of a patriarchal society to hear that staring at breasts is healthy. Whatever the links between staring and health are, they’re not really important. Are they?

  2. DubD said

    No such study exists, unfortunately.

  3. Ann said

    “unfortunately”? A supporter of our patriarchal society?

    Obviously, “no such study exists,” because, like I said, “there’s a huge gap in the study … .” But, I guess no one caught on.

  4. Ann said

    What does “male interest in the female body” have to with “staring at boobs”? (Talking about leaps in logic!) Staring is an obession and a mental problem from one perspective or merely rude from another.

    If by “male interest in the female body” you mean female beauty, don’t you suppose female beauty is more than fatty protrusions of the mammary glands?

    “… men still make more and have the most influence in our society currently, but NONE OF THE MEN I KNOW use attractiveness of women as a means to subjugate them.” (Capitalization added) is not a study, but a personal observation. I can find women who claim that pornography is not exploitative, that they voluntarily, willingly entered the field. I have read about prostitutes who “enjoy” their “occupation.” All this means what? Not much.

    If you think that Western countries (some worse than others) are not patriarchal, which means primarily controlled by the male gender, which in turn means male tastes and desire dominate, (where a common slam is something like calling a male, a “girlie man”) … well, I don’t what to say, or perhaps read more … (like history :))

  5. David said

    I disagree with you on the opinion that looking at pictures of the female mammary glands is a sin, but I agree that “girlie men” needs to stop being an insult. Of course, relatively few women are willing to date “girlie men”, so there might be a reason it’s an insult.

  6. Ann said

    David,

    Please read.

    No, I didn’t say “looking at pictures of the female mammary glands is a sin.” I don’t know too much about “sin.” (maybe I should?)

    I said, “staring at boobs … is an obsession and a mental problem from one perspective or merely rude from another.” You know, “staring,” to intently gaze, to google, to gawk, like you can’t get your mind on something else? If this behavior can’t be controlled then it is a problem, and in public this is rude. (If you don’t think it’s rude, try doing it to a woman with attractive breasts who has a husband or boyfriend nearby watching you. Its rudeness might be brought to your attention rather quickly, perhaps.)

    I understand, “girlie men” to mean men who in some way are as women. (But, not just women, but young immature women, girls.) Presumably, it is an insult for men to be as women (or girls). Which means what? What does it say about women (or girls)? I haven’t read to many press reports (like governor of Calif.) of women calling men “girlie men.”

    Anyway, for a woman to call a man (or think of a man as), a “girlie man,” is like a woman trying to insult a man, because he is as she is, a woman. This is funny, but I’m sure there are women who do this. But, many women also suffer from lower self-esteem, as well. (That is, they think less of themselves than what they should.) This is for any normal healthy person (male or female) a sad statement about our society.

  7. charris88 said

    If science says it increases health… so it shall be done!

    How To Get Rid of Man Boobs

  8. Guest said

    Ann – just out of interest: are you studying Gender Studies?

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